Social Skills for Kids

Asperger’s Syndrome on the PBS Show Arthur

Note: Added 4/11/10. This blog has moved! I'll be leaving the old blog up for a while, but updated posts will be on my new blog. For more info on this topic, as well as lots of book reviews, professional and personal resources for individuals of all ages with Asperger's, autism, ADHD and ASDs, please check my new blog, Thrive on the Autism Spectrum.

Starting Monday, April 5, 2010, the PBS show Arthur is introducing a new character, Carl, who has Asperger’s Syndrome. You can read about the episode on the Autism Society website.

I don't follow Arthur regularly, so I can't comment on the program.  But, TV is an excellent way for you to open a discussion on the condition with your diagnosed child as well as his or her siblings. Asperger's is a broad spectrum and kids will have a variety or behaviors. Watching the show together then lets you talk about things like how similar Carl's behavior is to your child's, and how the kids at Carl's school treat him, compared to the kids your child goes to school with.

Thoughts on Homework

This morning I was driving past a middle school just as the kids were walking in. I think there is some kind of science project due today, because a lot of the kids, who looked like eighth graders, were carrying massive airplanes, catapults and mazes. They were beautifully built, sturdy and streamlined, and very professional. Wait a minute! Why are a bunch of 13 year olds carrying professional projects? Who built those projects? How many 13 year olds know how to saw, drill, and especially design machines like this? I suspect a lot of parents had to make these out of control projects. Is there a point to this?

Homework is a problem for so many families. I think it’s even harder for special needs families, because they’ve already got extra responsibilities, Therapy takes time, Floortime takes time, play dates take time. Then add in a bunch of worksheets and projects and there isn’t any way to manage everything.

Sadly, the research on homework and its effectiveness is not very compelling. Although some studies show it’s effective, others show that it isn’t. For something to dominate the free time of so many families, I think there really should be good evidence that it works.

Recently, the San Ramon Valley Unified PTA parenting conference showed the documentary Race to Nowhere. This film examines the pressure on today’s school kids and families. It doesn’t have a special needs focus, but it’s relevant to every family with kids in school. There are many local screenings here in the Bay Area as well as elsewhere, so it’s worth trying to find a showing.

There’s also a great blog on homework written by a Danville, CA mom, Kerry Dickinson, called East Bay Homework Blog. I just discovered it, so I haven’t read all of it, but there are excellent arguments against the mindless assignments so many kids are getting, as well as many links to other sites.

Kids need free time. Parents need free time. We all need time to relax, enjoy each other's company, have some fun. Take a look at how your family is spending their time. Is building a catapult what you'd choose to do?

East Bay Camps for Kids with Special Needs

Note: Added 4/11/10. This blog has moved! I'll be leaving the old blog up for a while, but updated posts will be on my new blog. For more info on this topic, as well as lots of book reviews, professional and personal resources for individuals of all ages with Asperger's, autism, ADHD and ASDs, please check my new blog, Thrive on the Autism Spectrum.

My upstate New York family may be getting snowed on, but here in the Bay Area, it's spring, with daffodils and cherry blossoms, and that means it's not too early to starting thinking about summer activities for your kids. There are many summer camp programs and a lot of them are geared toward kids and teens with special needs, like autism, Asperger’s, ADHD or other social or emotional issues. Many of these programs fill up quickly, especially those for older campers and the counselor in training programs, and some camps offer a discount for early sign up. Here is a list of just a few, those I’ve heard about that might be worth checking into for your child. Please do your own research since I’m only reporting what others have told me, I’m not professionally or personally involved in any of them. And, if you are aware of other East Bay programs for the summer, please let me know. I’ll edit the post to include anything else I hear of.

Thanks to the members of eastbayautism@yahoogroups.com for your ideas. If you're ever trying to solve a problem and can’t quite come up with the right resource, this group is the place to go. Someone in this group of very helpful people always knows the answers.

Strawberry Canyon Blue Camp's Social Skills camp, on the UC Berkeley campus offers a program for kids with social skills deficits, grades 3 to 12. Younger kids are in groups with a leader, but take part in their activities along with the typical kids from the larger daycamp. For teenagers with special needs, the camp offers a counselor in training program, with focus on social skills as they relate to job skills.

Quest Camps in Alamo offers programs for campers from ages 6 to 18, with special responsibilities and programs for teen campers. They have daily activities, field trips and therapy.

Trails to Success offers their summer camp programs in Orinda. They also have a counselor in training program for teenagers.

Walnut Creek offers a summer therapeutic program through the city parks and recreation. We Care in Concord has also offered an autism summer camp, although I only found online information on the 2009 program. The Easter Seals Kaleidoscope program in Dublin offers an after school program, and I'm told they extend their schedule to longer days over the summer.

Sarah’s Science “This Land Is Your Land” camp is not designed specifically for special needs children, but the science and nature themes may be of interest to many kids. A mom told me that her son with Asperger’s really enjoyed the camp. Older campers can do more challenging projects, and there is a counselor in training program. The camp is located in San Ramon, Berkeley, and Oakland.

Tech Know How offers camps on computers, Legos and game design. Again, this camp is not designed specifically for kids with special needs, but it does match well with the interests of many kids on the spectrum, and a mom reported her child with Asperger's enjoyed it. They have locations throughout the Bay Area.

Using Television to Teach Teens Social Skills

Social skills get more subtle once kids reach high school, and that’s a time when many teens with autism, Asperger’s and ADHD really start to struggle with friends and peer relationships. Often, these kids have gone through the basic social skills training at school or in a social skills group when they were younger. By now, they want nothing more to do with a formal class, but they’re still missing out on some of the more subtle details.

I thought TV episodes might be a useful, fun way to help teens look at social signals. Although the plots of a lot of teen programs are pretty unrealistic, the situations more mature, and the conversations often more adult and introspective than teens really use, the settings are familiar, and the programs are something teens will relate to. They also tend to use body language, but in a bolder, broader way, which can be easier for teens on the spectrum to pick up on. Finally, because these scenes are online, you can watch and rewatch as many times as you want to catch the details, even muting the dialogue to shift focus to the nonverbals.

This week I’m looking at some personal space and nonverbal communication issues as illustrated by the show Glee. You can see these episodes on Hulu.com for free. Note to parents: some of you may object to the more mature themes in this program. I’ll be looking for other shows to comment on as well, but before banning the program, consider if this is something all the other kids at school are watching. Not having seen a popular show can make it hard for kids to fit in. You can watch together, and discuss issues, such as is this scenario realistic, or appropriate, or does this fit with your own values. (If you have a particular show that’s online that you’d like me to analyze, please comment here, or send me an email.)

In Glee, Season 1 Episode 9, Wheels, the show starts with scenes of cheerleading practice. Sitting alone in the bleachers is blonde Quinn, soon to be joined by tall, dark haired Finn. (If you’re new to this show, it might not be obvious from the ways they’re acting that these two are a couple.) Notice the tense body language. As Finn approaches, he doesn’t greet Quinn, he just sits down, at a distance that’s not typical for a dating couple having a one on one conversation. Quinn doesn’t turn to Finn, she doesn’t lean toward him or adjust her body posture, she barely even looks at him. Before anything is said, and without knowing anything about the plot, it’s clear that this pair is not feeling close and connected. Throughout their scene together, Quinn only turns her eyes or occasionally her face to Finn, never her shoulders or the rest of her body, a clear sign of discord between the pair.

Now look at Season 1, Episode 10, Ballad. The show starts with all the students sitting on the bleachers, spaced evenly with almost mathematical precision. (Your teen may not be aware of this spacing rule, but it’s pretty consistent in our culture. People tend to space themselves out fairly evenly, sitting closer to close friends, but not sitting next to strangers unless the space gets more crowded. Think about a movie theater. If it’s almost empty, sitting in adjacent seats is something only friends do. Strangers space themselves out. As the theater fills, it’s not threatening or inappropriate to sit next to strangers.) The exception to the Glee bleacher spacing, which may not be obvious to kids who don’t pick up on social cues, is Quinn and Finn, sitting together as a couple. Finn’s posture isn’t that different than in the previous episode, but now Quinn is leaning into Finn, almost draped on him. Clearly, she is in a different mood than the previous episode. Notice also that the rest of the students are angled slightly toward the center, indicating some cohesion, and friendship alliances can be gauged just by noting who is sitting together. When the teacher asks, “Who knows what a ballad is?” notice how Rachel immediately thrusts up her hand with too much enthusiasm. Can your child glean information about Rachel’s character from this simple action?

Well, I’ve watched about 5 minutes of TV, and written a full post on the details. What details can you and your teen pick up from body language?

Online DIR® Floortime™ Training

I’ve written on several occasions about Stanley Greenspan, M.D. and the DIR® Floortime™ program. I really like this program for several reasons. DIR® Floortime™ can be done by parents, in the home, it doesn’t have to preclude the use of other therapies, such as ABA, and it is very much a social and relational based model, which makes sense to me as a psychotherapist. Of equal value, parents can get started pretty quickly, by reading books, joining an online group, or taking courses, even if they’re waiting for a diagnosis, or in a long line waiting for services. If money is tight, parents can get training relatively inexpensively, and get started without a huge investment. The model helps parents learn to interact with their children in a more engaging manner, taking the child’s developmental level into account and gently helping the child to progress. For parents hoping to enhance their child's social skills, DIR® Floortime™ can be a great place to start.

Stanley Greenspan, M. D. is presenting the Basic Course on the DIR® Floortime™ Model online for parents and professionals, starting on March 12, 2010. I took this online course a few years ago, and really appreciated the ability to take it from home, review the materials as many times as I wanted, and the chance to see Dr. Greenspan in action with children, as well as the relatively low cost. There are also a few workshops being offers, A Lifespan Approach to Autism, Meltdowns, and Regulatory Sensory Processing Disorders.

Temple Grandin Movie on HBO: February 6, 2010

Note: Added 4/11/10. This blog has moved! I'll be leaving the old blog up for a while, but updated posts will be on my new blog. For more info on this topic, as well as lots of book reviews, professional and personal resources for individuals of all ages with Asperger's, autism, ADHD and ASDs, please check my new blog, Thrive on the Autism Spectrum.

Just a reminder, the Temple Grandin movie is premiering on February 6, 2010 on HBO. Most of my readers are familiar with Temple Grandin, PhD, perhaps the most well known autistic person in America, as well as the designer of almost half the cattle handling equipment in North America. Dr. Grandin is inspiring because of her clear presentation and writing style, as well as the way she’s learned to adapt the strengths of her diagnosis to accomplish things she probably wouldn’t have been able to if she weren’t autistic. Dr. Grandin remains a free thinker, an individual who lives a life that is meaningful for her, and expands our own vision of what a successful life can be.

For every parent who worries if their own child will ever fit in, succeed, be a contributing, happy member of society, I think the story of this woman, recommended for institutionalization as a child, can provide another path. I love stories of children succeeding beyond anyone’s hopes, and Temple Grandin is certainly one of those stories.

Treatment Options: What is P.L.A.Y. Project®?

There are so many treatment options for children on the autism spectrum, it can be really confusing for parents.  Different programs may sound like the same thing, other programs have trademarks, or they’re proprietary, or they’ve been developed in one location and not available elsewhere. What’s the difference? Is there one best treatment? Can different  programs be used together? In the end, it all comes down to one question: how do you figure out the best treatment for your own child?

In the interest of sorting this out, I try to provide specific information when I can find an expert who is really knowledgeable about a specific treatment program. For example, you can see an earlier interview on DIR/Floortime.

One option that you may have heard of is P.L.A.Y. Project®. Today I’m taking to Joanne Finn, a Licensed Educational Psychologist, who also provides private services as a home consultant for families of children with an autism spectrum disorder through the P.L.A.Y Project®.

Patricia Robinson:
Joanne, Can you explain the P.L.A.Y. Project®?

Joanne Finn:
P.L.A.Y Project® was started by Dr. Rick Solomon, a developmental pediatrician, who wanted to develop an affordable, family-friendly and effective early intervention program for children with autism spectrum disorders ages 18 months to seven years.  P.L.A.Y Project is an international program with home consultants serving families in 27 states and 3 countries outside of the U.S.  The program focuses on helping parents to help their children build emotional connections and engage in meaningful relationships.

As a school psychologist, I became interested in finding more ways to support parents who really wanted to help their children at home. A friend introduced me to  DIR®/Floortime™ and I was excited to find the P.L.A.Y. Project model of home consultation. I recently became a licensed provider for P.L.A.Y. and I am so happy to be able to provide this to parents.  What I really love about being a PLAY home consultant is working with parents. Children spend more time with their parents than all of their teachers and therapists combined. So parents are really the best ones to help their child learn to connect.

P.L.A.Y Project uses the DIR®/Floortime™ model of Dr. Stanley Greenspan, a nationally respected child psychiatrist. DIR stands for developmental, individual-differences, and relationship-based. This means that parent-and-child interactions are highly valued and respected.  A child’s emotional development depends so much on the intimate connection between a baby and parents – from early smiles and coos, to looks and gestures, verbal language, and ideas about how the world works.  For a child with autism these connections can be disrupted because of the child’s challenging neurological disorder. As a home consultant I carefully analyze a child’s unique individual differences to determine the best play activities, methods and techniques to help relationship happen. And it does happen!  Dr. Solomon’s initial pilot study of 70 children with autism demonstrated that 65% of the children in the P.L.A.Y. Project made good to excellent progress.  P.L.A.Y. Project has recently been awarded a $1.85 million grant from the National Institutes of Mental Health to conduct a three-year study of the model. 

P.L.A.Y. Project is one type of  DIR/Floortime service delivery model.   Floortime therapy can be delivered many different ways - through a school program like Creekside, during OT or Speech therapy, through private play therapy by a psychologist, through clinic or home consultation.  P.L.A.Y. Project consists of a specific structure to provide DIR/Floortime through home consultation.  Aspects specific to P.L.A.Y.include use of the PLAY Project Workshop DVD for an initial introduction, a 3-hour home visit once or twice monthly, the use of video and video feedback reports as part of the coaching.  PLAY project home consultants must be trained in DIR/Floortime techniques by PLAY Project trainers and must work with a licensed PLAY Project agency. (I am my own licensed agency). Home consultants are also strongly encouraged to participate in ICDL DIR/Floortime Institute certificate program.

P.L.A.Y Project format looks like this: As a home consultant, I make one or two home visits per month for a 3 hour block of time. During that time I observe parent and child during play sessions and during their daily routine. I offer coaching and support to the parents, and as the child builds trust I model play techniques for the parents.  With permission, I also videotape some of the play.  Between visits I analyze the videotape to better understand the child’s strengths and needs.  And I provide additional input in the form of a Video Review report.  The parent receives the report and the video between visits to help them continue their learning and to help train others such as grandparents, friends and other caregivers.

Most of my current families are using P.L.A.Y Project to supplement their child’s half-day school program or ABA home therapy.  P.L.A.Y. Project and ABA are complementary and have different strategic directions.  DIR/Floortime is distinctive from ABA as it emphasizes following a child’s interests and preferences rather than therapist initiated activities.  DIR/Floortime emphasizes emotion to create engagement and connection rather than primarily focusing on building skills. And PLAY Project’s main focus is integrating parents into the therapy.

Patricia Robinson:
Joanne, thanks for explaining the details of this program. East Bay parents in Northern California can contact Joanne Finn  directly through her website, and those in other locations can check out the P.L.A.Y Project website to find a local provider.

Girls and the Media

Girls with Asperger’s and autism seem to be more involved with TV, movies and the whole celebrity culture than neurotypical girls. For these girls, the restricted interests that are a part of the autism spectrum often fall into the realm of pop culture and celebrities. Add in the facts that these girls aren’t connecting as well with their peers, and often struggle athletically, and the result is that teen and tween girls on the spectrum can spend all their free time watching favorite TV shows, reading about celebrities and Googling them on the internet.

One big concern about this is that the messages the media send to young girls are anything but positive. Pressures about image and consumerism are rampant. Girls may feel they can’t measure up. It’s not surprising because the media images are not just unrealistic, but often completely false.

There are some fascinating sites online that show just how invalid media ideals can be. Check them out with your own daughter, and have a conversation about what the media is presenting as beautiful. Jamie Lee Curtis started the whole discussion years ago, by allowing photographers to document her appearance before and after a team of experts polished up her appearance. Dove has a great campaign including a fascinating video called Evolution, showing how makeup and Photoshop transform an attractive, but normal, young woman into a billboard image. There are other sites that show some of the worst offenders of modified images from magazine covers. 

You can't change what your daughter finds fascinating, but paying attention and connecting over her interests can make a positive difference in your relationship and her self esteem.

Holiday Advice

The holidays are coming up and for a lot of people that means getting together with extended family and relatives you haven’t seen in a while. This can be a great chance to connect, feel supported, even show off a bit with all the progress your child has made.

But it can also mean unwanted advice. Your parents, your sister-in-law, your best friend from high school probably mean nothing but the best for you and your family. But they also may not have a special needs child and they may not understand what it is that your family is going through, or what your child needs.

So often I’ve heard the same story from clients. A well-meaning relative says something like, “If only you’d do _________, your kid wouldn’t do _______.” or “Trust me, your kid just needs more __________, and he wouldn’t be so _____________.” You can probably fill in the blanks, there’s a lot of advice out there.

The fact is, and I’ve said it before, some kids are just tougher to parent than others. Your nieces and nephews may just be incredibly easy-going children. It doesn’t mean that you are not also a good parent. Your child may just be wired differently, temperamentally more sensitive,  more strong-willed, or more emotional.

I’ve worked with so many different kids over the years. The truth is, some of them are so easy and low key, they practically parent themselves. Other kids are so difficult, it’s hard to manage them for just a brief while, much less an entire holiday vacation. Add in some travel time, late nights, too much stimulation, and it’s not surprising that things get out of hand.

So this holiday season, I’m asking you to trust yourself and the parenting skills you’ve developed by taking care of your child for all this time. Listen to the advice politely if you want to, but don’t think that any other parent is more capable than you are. Your child is lucky to have you as a parent.

I’m thankful for all my wonderful clients, parents, and readers! Happy Thanksgiving!

Contra Costa Country Annual Transition Conference

A few posts ago, I talked about transition planning for teens and how important it is to start planning early. At that time, I wasn’t sure when the Transition Conference for Contra Costa County was being held. But now you can download a copy of the Conference Brochure. It’s being held at Diablo Valley College in Pleasant Hill, California on Tuesday January 5, 2010. This conference is a great resource for adults and parents of teens, with a full day of presentations on living options, employment, financial needs, sexual issues, disability services at community colleges.There is also a resource room for more info about services. Download the Conference Flyer Here