What does a teenage girl's vampire movie have to do with Asperger's, autism, and social skills? Plenty! Nobody who works with girls, neurotypical or those on the autism spectrum, can avoid it: Twilight is everywhere. The four book series, by Stephenie Meyer, is currently ranked 2,3,4,and 5 on the Amazon bestseller list. The movie, which opened November 21, was the top ranked movie in the US and is currently in 3rd place. Certainly, a lot of the interest is drawing from neurotypical girls. At the same time, this story may be especially appealing for girls with Asperger's.
Autism and Asperger's are disproportionally diagnosed in males. Most of the autism literature looks at a male behavior patterns, and only recently has there been much written about the specific traits and behaviors of girls on the Autistic Spectrum. Social skills difficulties can be especially difficult for girls, because their peer interactions are governed by such complex rules, and social expectations are much higher for them. Many school aged girls with Asperger's and autism suffer for years from excruciating feelings of loneliness, being different and left out, and not fitting in.
The Twilight series connects to those left out and different feelings, and it provides a fantasy of a romantic hero and an eternal connection. Just what lots of girls with Asperger's may be looking for.
For starters, Bella is a fantasy teen heroine for any girl who’s struggling with fitting in. She’s the new girl at her tiny school, one where everyone else has been together since kindergarten. She describes herself as pale, non-athletic, and soft. Much of the story involves Bella tripping, falling, and humiliating herself in P.E. And when she describes her personality, it’s, “I didn’t relate well to people my age. Maybe the truth was that I didn’t relate well to people, period.... Sometimes I wondered if I was seeing the same things through my eyes that the rest of the world was seeing through theirs. Maybe there was a glitch in my brain.” (p. 10) Somehow, in spite of this description, Bella easily makes friends in her new school, breezes through academics, and manages to get the boy of her dreams.
Edward, her love interest, can represent all the popular, athletic, handsome, yet out of reach boys at any school. At the same time, he too is that outsider, not even human, yet somehow above the crowd rather than excluded from it. Bella describes him as “devastatingly, inhumanly beautiful.” He may be officially 17, but he has a maturity not matched by the awkward other boys at the school. Edward is confident, impossibly strong and capable, and completely uninterested in the girls in the school. Except Bella, whom he can’t resist.
Their relationship is intense and forbidden, and it continually balances the themes of danger and safety. Edward is bossy and volatile, while at the same time protective and strong. The relationship revolves around their sexual energy, yet the two can barely touch. The couple bickers continually throughout the book, Edward repeatedly warns Bella that he’s dangerous to her, but she isn’t afraid. Throughout the book, Edward instinctively uses his magnetic good looks and velvety voice with woman, but he doesn’t even notice their attraction. It’s only about Bella. Is it any wonder that this story line appeals to young girls who long for a safe connection?
What does this mean for parents? This story may very well develop into one of those special interests your daughter has. Some parents may object to the intensity of this interest, or the dysfunctionality of the relationship. Certainly, fantasy is no substitute for real experiences, but your daughter may not be experiencing much real connection in own life. The Twilight story can become a safe way to experience and practice feeling of social connection, even if it’s not a realistic setting. Experienced emotions can help individuals with Asperger’s generalize learning, so an identification with Bella may allow your teen to grow emotionally.
If your daughter loves this story, why not go to see the movie with her or read the book yourself? It’s the perfect opportunity to glimpse her world a bit, to see and experience from her perspective. Think about all the ways your daughter may feel like Bella, awkward, alone, not fitting in. Connect the grey and rainy town of Forks with her experiences of preteen and teenage years. Remember your own school experiences, maybe times you felt left out, different, or chosen and special. Twilight isn’t a deep, psychological drama, but it’s a simple story that may help you understand and feel more connected to your daughter, and a way your daughter may be able to experience her own connectedness.
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