Coach for Asperger's

Temple Grandin Movie Premiers This Saturday on HBO

Note: Added 11/3/10. This blog has moved! I'll be leaving the old blog up for a while, but updated posts will be on my new blog. For more info on this topic, as well as lots of book reviews, professional and personal resources for individuals of all ages with Asperger's, autism, ADHD and ASDs, please check my new blog, Thrive on the Autism Spectrum.

Don't forget, the Temple Grandin movie is premiering on February 6, 2010 on HBO! Most of my readers are familiar with Temple Grandin, PhD, perhaps the most well known autistic person in America, as well as the designer of almost half the cattle handling equipment in North America. Dr. Grandin is inspiring because of her clear presentation and writing style, as well as the way she’s learned to adapt the strengths of her diagnosis to accomplish things she probably wouldn’t have been able to if she weren’t autistic. Dr. Grandin remains a free thinker, an individual who lives a life that is meaningful for her, and expands our own vision (whether autistic or neurotypical) of what a successful life can be.

Our society so frequently presents one way of succeeding in the world, with a fixed idea on success, relationships and how we should behave. Dr. Grandin is an example to all of us on how success can really be defined by the individual. Although she writes about learning social skills and has adapted to a neurotypical world in some ways, at the same time she remains true to herself, defining her own needs and wishes with regard to career and relationship. I always enjoy Dr. Grandin's writing, and I'm looking forward to this movie.

How Sound Impacts Humans

Note: Added 11/3/10. This blog has moved! I'll be leaving the old blog up for a while, but updated posts will be on my new blog. For more info on this topic, as well as lots of book reviews, professional and personal resources for individuals of all ages with Asperger's, autism, ADHD and ASDs, please check my new blog, Thrive on the Autism Spectrum.

TED is a website that presents fascinating short talks by experts on many different topics. I like to go there and browse around and see what interesting ideas come up, as well as to look for presentations on topics I’m especially interested in.

Julian Treasure, who advises businesses on how sound effects people, gives a brief but interesting discussion on the Four Ways Sound Affects Us. Treasure discusses and illustrates how sound impacts our physiology, psychology, cognition and behavior. This is true for all of us, but the impact of sound is even more intense for those on the spectrum, where sensory issues are so much more common. Treasure talks about how the noise level in open plan offices is so distracting that productivity drops tremendously. Not surprising for anyone who spends time in an office cubicle!

I know that sound impacts mood, and I often work with clients on identifying calming sounds. Treasure’s suggestion of listening to bird song is an interesting idea that I’ll have to try out, both for myself and for clients.

Transitioning to Adulthood

This blog is aimed at teens and adults  with Asperger's and autism, and my other blog, Social Skills for Kids is really written for the parents of younger kids with ASDs. However, frequently the two areas overlap, and I'm not sure where to best post material. (In fact, I'm thinking about combining both blogs into one with more info.)

If you're a teen or parent of a teen, please check out my latest post on Social Skills for Kids on the importance of transition planning for the post high school years .

Getting the Job Done: Creating a Visual Plan

Note: Added 11/3/10. This blog has moved! I'll be leaving the old blog up for a while, but updated posts will be on my new blog. For more info on this topic, as well as lots of book reviews, professional and personal resources for individuals of all ages with Asperger's, autism, ADHD and ASDs, please check my new blog, Thrive on the Autism Spectrum.

As I discussed in my previous post on managing procrastination and distraction, getting lost in the details can make it very difficult for anyone to finish, or even start, a project. For those with ASDs or ADHD, this can be even more troublesome. One technique I’ve found to be useful for many clients is to create some sort of visual plan of the project. Taking time to think about the goal, organizing the details, and jotting it down on paper will give you something to refer back to while working.

Here’s an example of a simple outline you might use to stay on track while completing a project. I’ve chosen the topic I’m working on right now: writing this post. (I’m typing this for the blog, but I’d only scribble it down in real life.)

Goal: Writing a Blog Post on Procrastination and Distraction

                    1. Reread previous post on this topic
                    2. Consider steps involved
                    3. Create examples:

                    A. Detailed list
                    B. Detail cloud

                     4. Find appropriate pictures to illustrate

                    A. Dog
                    B. Snack

                     5. Copy and paste document into blogging software
                     6. Create links and finalize details on blog
                     7. Publish

Here’s an example of a less structured detail list. You can make the more important steps larger and bolder.

 

Goal: Writing a Blog Post on Procrastination and Distraction

                    Find Pictures                                     Reread previous post
                                          Create examples   

                                                Publish                 Create links

                    Copy and paste into blogging software           Plan steps involved

 

That’s it! These are both pretty straightforward and it only took a minute or two to put them together. Now, while you’re working you’ve got a very clear idea of what you should be doing to accomplish the job.

If you decide to pet the dog:

 

 

or get a snack:

 

it’s pretty clear that you’re off topic. But, I think it’s more frequent that people get pulled into the details, and then wander around off topic. Finding a picture of an apple can turn into sorting through all the pictures in the photo library, or wandering from topic to topic in an internet search. That’s where the list helps. You’ve determined the goal: writing a post, and browsing internet photos has nothing to do with that. It’s a clear example of when you need to pull yourself back to work.

If you’re more auditory than visual, recording a list can be helpful. Whatever works for you is fine, just take a few moments to plan, set a goal, and then check back with your plan frequently.

Getting the Job Done

Note: Added 11/3/10. This blog has moved! I'll be leaving the old blog up for a while, but updated posts will be on my new blog. For more info on this topic, as well as lots of book reviews, professional and personal resources for individuals of all ages with Asperger's, autism, ADHD and ASDs, please check my new blog, Thrive on the Autism Spectrum.

Many of my clients on the autism/Asperger’s spectrum really struggle with productivity and distraction and the seemingly simple matter of getting things done. Although this is an issue for neurotypicals as well, I find that distraction and procrastination can be a lot more challenging for those on the spectrum.

Frequently, procrastination and distraction can occur when people get caught up in details and lose sight of the big picture.That’s not surprising really, because one of the key traits of both autism and Asperger’s can be, as stated in the DSM IV, a “persistent preoccupation with parts of objects.” Uta Frith refers to this “detail focus” as Weak Central Coherence. While a detail focus can result in amazing achievement and the ability to work creatively and deeply, at the same time, it can lead to lots of activity with little output. Generally, work output does require the leap from detailed focus to a more general viewpoint. Sometimes individuals can afford to take the time to study, learn, delve deeply into an idea and see where the material leads them. But often, this drifting, detailed investigation can be nothing but a waste of time.

So, how do you move from the details to the big picture? With many of my clients I try to take advantage of their strength in visual processing. Create a graphic image of the project, listing all the details. Headline this image of details with a title explaining how all these terms relate. That headline is usually the big picture.The details can be organized in different ways, depending on how you think. If you’re logical and structured try creating a numbered, indented outline, with small details organized into bigger topics. If you’re more artistic than mathematical, a “detail cloud” may be more meaningful. This is similar to those keyword clouds that sometimes appear on the sidebar of blogs.

Whatever you create to explain your project, put it clearly on a piece of paper where you can see it at a glance. Ask yourself frequently, “How does what I'm doing relate to what I'm trying to produce?” and “What am I trying to produce here?” Confused? An example can mean a lot more than an explanation, so please check back for the next blog posting where I'll show some examples of these techniques.

Interview Tips for Adults with Asperger’s: It’s an Interview, Not a Therapy Session

I just read an interesting, entertaining list of 10 Way to Ruin a Job Interview, written by Liz Ryan. The article lists simple “don’ts, like: don’t grovel, don’t share too much.  At first the list may seem ridiculous. Does anyone really need to be told not to swear in an interview? But then I started remembering interviews I conducted when I was working as an engineer. So often, interview candidates did the very things on this list. And Liz Ryan is right, they made a bad first impression.

I think many of these “don’ts” fall into the category of “Don’t be too relaxed or too open.” Job interviews are stressful. Your interviewer is most likely a well meaning, kind individual, who wants to put you at ease, and wants to like you. That’s great, and if it helps you to relax and make your best impression, the interview will be that much better for both of you. But, don’t mistake an interview for what it is not. This is not a friendly chat, and it certainly isn’t a therapy session. Just because someone is open and cordial does not mean the interview rules have changed.

I remember many interview candidates sharing way too much. I’d ask why they were looking for a new position and I’d get an endless list of the things their boss did wrong and the company did wrong. Remember, the person interviewing you does not know you. Your future employer wants a capable individual who will be easy to work with. They have no way of knowing if your crazy boss is really crazy, or if the problem was with you. Don’t give your future employer any reason to question your ability to be a team player.

I also remember desperate job candidates. They’d tell me things like how hard they were working to find a job and how little success they were having. A comment like that would make me question why no one else wanted to hire this candidate. Are you more likely to walk into the deserted restaurant or the busy one? The busy one, of course! If you tell your interviewer that no one wants to hire you, you look like the empty restaurant.

Another way interview candidates shared too much was in telling me that they weren’t that interested in the job. Things like, they’d take the job as an emergency measure, but they really were looking for a job two levels up. Hiring and training a new employee is expensive and a lot of work. Nobody wants to go through that just to have the new hire be unhappy. If you can’t be enthusiastic, fake it, and if you can’t fake it, don’t bother interviewing.

If you’re looking for a new job, you’re probably feeling a great deal of stress, and that’s OK. Just share that stress with an appropriate person, like your friend, or a family member, or your therapist. Not your interviewer.

More on Job Interviews and Asperger’s: The Elevator Pitch

Many individuals with Asperger’s and autism have told me how tough a job interview can be. I think that can be true for those without autism as well. But, the good news is that interview skills can be learned and improved. Interviewing is one of the most common areas I work on with my Coach for Asperger’s and Conversation Coaching clients. I always impressed with the dramatic progress my clients make, and they usually improve in a very short time.

Yesterday, my local news station was broadcasting a job fair on their morning show, not something I’d usually watch, but I was held captive while waiting for my car’s oil change. The newscaster interviewed a professional (who’s name I didn’t catch) from Robert Half International about job interview tips. You can find their list here, but the idea I thought was most helpful was preparing an “elevator speech.”

An elevator speech or elevator pitch is a brief answer, about the length of a standard elevator ride, to the question, “What do you do?” or “Tell me about yourself.” Expect to hear this question in an interview. It’s probably going to be the first question. This is not the time to make small talk or discuss your hobbies. Instead, you’ve got a few minutes to define what makes you special, and tell the interviewer why you should be hired. Plan your elevator speech in advance. Think about the unique strengths you bring to the position. Practice it. In front of the mirror, to your friends or your dog, tell it to your mom. You can even send a comment to this blog with your elevator speech. The more thought you give this, the better you’ll know your own strengths, and the more clearly you can present them.

You don’t want to do this word for word, of course you’ll have to adapt to the situation. For example, maybe you need to introduce yourself, or maybe they already know your name. But your themes should be prepared in advance. The best part about an elevator pitch? Think how much calmer you’ll be in your interview if you can answer the first question so skillfully.

My elevator pitch:

I’m Patricia Robinson, a licensed therapist and coach. I focus on individuals with Asperger’s, autism and ADHD. As a therapist, I work with kids, teens and adults to help them do better at work or school, succeed socially, and to manage tough emotions like sadness or anxiety. As a coach, I work with teens and adults on goal oriented issues, things like jobs and employment, interviewing, and improving social connections and relationships.

What's your elevator pitch?

Right Brained World?

I just finished listening to an interview with Daniel Pink about his book, New York Times bestseller A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future. This book looks at our changing world economy and how that impacts our careers.  I work on career issues with many adults with Asperger’s and autism, individuals typically considered to have strengths as left brained thinkers, so the premise of this book was fascinating.

Pink was interviewed by Oprah on her Soul Series, but don’t let that scare you if you’re not an Oprah and spirituality fan. The interview is about more than spirituality, including business and economics as well. Pink uses the left brain, right brain idea as a metaphor to compare systematic, logical thinking (a “left brain” function) and more creative, big picture ideas (a “right brain” function.). Pink, a self described left-brain thinker, theorizes that our changing world means that we’re moving from the Information Age to the Conceptual Age. Those individuals who excel at more right brained functions, which Pink terms the senses of design, story, symphony, empathy, play and meaning, (and conversation, which Pink adds in the interview) will succeed professionally and personally. Much of this change is brought about by the growing abilities to outsource or automate any career that’s highly systematic. Pink uses examples such as accounting and law, while I thought instantly of my former career as a Semiconductor Packaging Engineer. (Try to find one of those employed in the US!)

For those in the autism field, Pink’s book may bring to mind the theories of Simon Baron-Cohen in The Essential Difference: Male and Female Brains and the Truth About Autism. Baron-Cohen refers to the male, systemizing brain and the female, empathizing brain, and the idea that autism and Asperger’s may correlate to an extremely high level of systemizing, coupled with a low level of empathizing.

Does Pink’s theory warn of looming disaster for professionals with Asperger’s and autism? To my thinking, only on the surface. It is an alert to all of us, on the spectrum or not, to keep growing and learning. We all need to build on our innate strengths, while paying attention to and strengthening those areas where we don’t excel. Professional success, as always, depends on the ability to adapt to change. Also, the Asperger’s/autism strengths in thinking outside the box are probably a key to success in this new environment. Listen to the interview and see what you think.

Attending the Dreaded Holiday Party

So you’ve decided. You can’t skip out on the holiday party at work; you have to go. Here are some tips to make a good impression and make the whole event as painless as possible. (If you haven’t decided if you’re going yet, check out my previous blog entry on what professionals with Asperger’s and autism, as well as those who just don’t enjoy socializing at work, should consider before decided to skip the holiday party.)

Do Some Prep Work

Find out the basics before the party. How formal is the event and what are people wearing? Are spouses expected to attend? How about kids? Is a meal being served? Ask your favorite coworkers, or check with the party planner if it’s not obvious from the invitation or announcement.

Plan Some Small Talk

Before the party, think about a few topics of conversation. You’ll want to know the basics of the major news stories. Even if you don’t bring them up, others may. Take a look at the lighter topics too. Sites like the Yahoo home page will give you the top news, sports and entertainment stories. Or, listen to popular radio on the drive to the office.

Watch the Time

It can be awkward to be the first to arrive at a party. But, you also don’t want to have the whole company waiting for you before the meal can be served. How late to show up depends on the length of the event. For a 90 minute lunch during the workday, just leave the office when everyone else does. For a Saturday dinner party, thirty minutes late is pretty standard, at least in the US. If a scheduled event is starting the evening, like a harbor cruise or some type of entertainment, find out when that occurs and aim to get there at that time.

Avoid Alcohol

Some people can easily manage a drink or two at a party. But if you’re reading this, chances are party socializing is not your strength. Stick to a club soda.

Topics to Avoid

Just because it’s a party doesn’t mean that the work rules are all suspended. Your coworkers may be more relaxed than usual or even a bit drunk. (Or maybe a lot!) Still, avoid criticizing anyone, gossiping, and anything that might be offensive to others, like sexual harassment, any off color humor, or controversial discussions.

This is also the time that discussions about your work projects may not be appropriate. Many neurotypicals like to socialize and unwind at a party. Your discussion of the latest experiment may be considered rude or dull. Save it for Monday.

Small Talk at the Party

Conversations at a party can be a bit different than those at the office. They may be more personal, with more joking and teasing. That doesn’t mean you need to initiate these styles of conversation, but you may get pulled into them. Just try to adapt and not be offended.

If you've brought a spouse, be sure to introduce and include him or her. Talk to your coworkers spouses too.

When Can You Leave?

If possible, try not to be the first to leave. But, you get most of the credit for just showing up. Once you’ve talked to the major players, namely your boss, other bosses you want to impress, and your employees, you can safely exit. Try to thank the party planners too!

There, you did it! I didn’t say it was going to be fun, but you’ve attended, socialized and you’re free till next year, or at least the January birthday event.

The Dreaded Holiday Party

Even in today’s tough economic environment, many companies are still planning holiday parties. For some, this is a fun opportunity to relax with coworkers, meet spouses, and just take a step back from the work environment. But for others, those who hate small talk, or who value their free time, or who consider themselves to be loners, the holiday party is looked upon with dread. For many of my readers, like professionals with Asperger’s or autism, the big question right now is, “Do I have to go to the holiday party?”

The answer: It might be in your best interest professionally to show up. You might want to think of this as an unpaid evening work assignment, or an extra chance to show management that you’re a team player. Here are some things to consider when making this decision.

Is This Your Job, Or Your Career?

If you’re not hoping to be at the job long term, and it’s not in a field where you’re making lots of professional contacts, maybe you can get away with skipping the party. Don’t be too direct or detailed with your excuse here, just stay vague with a “family obligation” or “neighborhood get together.”

But, if this is a long term career, you probably have to make some effort to be sociable. Neurotypicals can get offended when their social advances are rebuffed. You don’t want to hurt people’s feelings, and your coworkers will trust and help out those with whom they socialize.

Are You the Boss?

The higher you are on the management ladder, the more important your presence will be. As a boss, you have a big impact on your employee’s daily lives. Neurotypical employees will want to introduce their spouse to their boss, but not necessarily the mail room clerk.

Who Wants the Party?

This is different than “Who’s planning the party?” Usually, an admin is assigned the task of putting the party together, but it might be the big boss, or your boss, or the boss you’re hoping to work for next year who’s all excited about it. You don’t want to be labeled by the higher-ups as hard to get along with just because you skipped an evening’s “entertainment.”

Who’s Planning the Party?

Holiday parties are a big job to plan, with venues reserved months in advance. Someone who’s put in hours of effort may feel slighted by your absence. If the planner is someone who works for you, someone with a lot of social power, or someone who helps you out a lot, you really should make the effort to attend.

Who Else is Going?

Ask around and see if everybody is going to be there. The more no-shows, the less obvious your absence will be. But if everybody is showing up except you, the night could turn out to draw a lot of attention your way, and not in a way that will help your career.

Can You Just Stop In?

Some parties involve a solid time commitment, things like a sit down dinner or a harbor cruise. Basically, once you’re at the party, you pretty much have to stay there until the main activity is over. Other events are more open ended, like a cocktail party. With these, it’s easy to drop in, chat briefly with the bosses and your employees, complement and thank the planners, and you’re free to go. Don’t get there too early, aim for the time of peak attendance to get the most impact from your brief appearance.

Whatever your decision, don’t say anything negative about the party, before, during or after. If you do decide to attend the party, check back here for tips on how to manage it.