Coach for Asperger's

Business and Asperger's Blog

Malcolm Johnson is both a business professional and an individual diagnosed with Asperger's. He writes an interesting and detailed blog about his experiences in the workplace called Aspergermanagement.com. He covers topics like dealing with difficult people, handling meetings, managing your boss and how to handle socializing at work. Check out this blog!

Tips for Managing Small Talk at the Office

Frequently, adults with Asperger’s will complain about the inane, time consuming, yet somehow valued activity called small talk. Typical offices seem to allow and even require a certain amount of time to be set aside for this type of socializing, even though it’s unrelated to the actual work that needs to be done. I’ve seen many blog postings where people question its value, but it’s here to stay. For neurotypicals, it’s even enjoyable.

Of course, you can do whatever you want with regard to small talk. But, if you think you’re being somehow penalized at work for not participating in small talk, I’ll be posting  some tips to play the small talk game.

1. You Can Keep It Short, But Say Something

Let’s say you’re going to get a cup of coffee, and the pot is surrounded by coworkers rehashing the weekend game. You hate football, didn’t see the game, and have nothing to add to the conversation. It’s very logical to ignore the conversation, get your coffee and get back to work.

But, wait! Neurotypicals are trained from infancy to look for subtle clues to other’s feelings, and they can be very insecure. If you say nothing, they will start making all sorts of assumptions, usually assumptions that revolve around their own insecurities. Things like, “Why is that guy so unfriendly?” or, “Why does he hate me?” or even, “Does he know that I’m about to get laid off, and he’s not telling me?”

A better option? Just say, “Good morning!” in a pleasant tone, look at them and smile, and move on to your coffee. This is one of those situations where neurotypicals also use scripts to know what to say. If you have to cut through the group, add in a cheery sounding, “Excuse me.” That’s it. Your coworkers will probably think you’re friendly, but busy, and not even think any more about it.

Please check back here frequently, I’ll be posting more small talk tips.

One Neurotypical’s Viewpoint

This is a blog, aimed at adults and teens, that discusses the standard rules of social interactions, things like small talk, starting a conversation, eye contact, personal space, showing boredom. The list goes on and on because there really is an endless list of rules and expectations. I spend a great deal of my time as a coach and a therapist thinking about, dissecting and teaching these rules to my clients.

I’m struggling a bit with these postings, because I’m trying to be very respectful of the rights of my readers. The neurodiversity world, very appropriately, can resent the efforts of neurotypicals who may seem to be trying to get them to change. At the same time, I speak to many people with Asperger’s or autism who pay a high price because they don’t play by or even understand the complex, unwritten, and rather rigid rules neurotypicals have for social interactions.

With that said, I’m hoping my readers will consider this blog with a forgiving spirit. As I frequently tell my clients, if things are going well, then there is no reason to change anything, and these postings are not written for you.

But, if you’re struggling because you’re not getting everything you want and deserve, things like friendships, romantic partners, promotions or professional recognition, then maybe you want to make some sort of change. That’s who I’m writing this blog for.

It would be ideal if everyone was valued and understood in a straightforward way, but that’s not the case. I don’t think neurotypicals deliberately shun those who don’t send the expected social signals. I think they’re mostly not even aware of what they’re doing. It’s instinctive and unconscious, and it’s probably not going to change anytime soon. In this blog, I’m talking about the standard rules as I understand them, and you can make your own choices on playing by them.

For those who aren’t familiar with my background, please check out the About Patricia Robinson, MS, MA, Coach page on the side of this blog. And sorry for the tedium, but I need to post a general disclaimer, so....

The Author provides the Site and the services, information, content and/or data (collectively, “Information”) contained therein for informational purposes only. The Author does not provide any medical advice on the Site, and the Information should not be so construed or used. Using, accessing and/or browsing the Site and/or providing personal or medical information to the Author does not create a therapist-patient or coach-client relationship between you and the Author. Nothing contained in the Site is intended to create a therapist-patient or coach-client relationship, to replace the services of a licensed, trained physician or health professional or to be a substitute for medical advice of a physician or trained health professional licensed in your state. You should not rely on anything contained in the Site, and you should consult a physician licensed in your state in all matters relating to your health. You hereby agree that you shall not make any health or medical related decision based in whole or in part on anything contained in the Site.

Thanks for taking the time to read my opinions. I'd love to hear yours!

Coaching for People with Asperger's

Welcome to my new blog: Coach for Asperger's.

This blog is aimed at adults and teens with a diagnosis of Asperger's syndrome or high functioning autism, and for those who don't have a formal diagnosis but feel like they have some of the signs and traits of those on the autism spectrum. I'll be posting tips for making the most of the strengths that go along with Asperger's, as well as how to deal with some of the difficulties that may come up.

Some of you may be familiar with my companion blog Social Skills for Kids, which is aimed at parents of kids with Asperger's, Autism, ADHD and other special needs. Some articles there may be applicable, but this blog is really written more for teenagers and adults than parents.

This blog also links to my new Coaching for Asperger's services. I've provided therapy for years, with a focus on kids with special needs, and now I'm also offering coaching. Coaching can take place over the phone, using web cameras or face to face. Please contact me if you need more information. (See the right side of this page to get my Contact Me page. It has my email and phone information.)

Please come here frequently for more posts, links and information.