Coach for Asperger's

Autism and Strengths in Problem Solving

It’s exciting to find researchers focusing on all the strengths that go along with autism and Asperger’s, the enhanced abilities and skills, and not just studying deficits and difficulties. On that topic just this month, there was an interesting study published in the journal Human Brain Mapping.

The study compares autistic and non-autistic individuals’ performance on a standard assessment tool called Raven's Standard Progressive Matrices (RSPM). What’s perhaps most interesting about the study is that the autistic subjects performed better than would have been predicted by the results of their IQ tests, and that the autistic subjects, while as accurate as their non-autistic counterparts, performed the test more rapidly. There were also differences in which areas of the brain were active, indicating that the autistic subjects used more visual processing in their reasoning.

Lead author Isabelle Soulières, a post-doctoral fellow at Harvard University who completed the experiment at the Université de Montréal, commented, "Some critics argued that autistics would be unable to complete the RSPM because of its complexity, yet our study shows autistics complete it as efficiently and have a more highly developed perception than non-autistics."

Per the test publisher, “Raven’s SPM is a nonverbal assessment tool designed to measure an individual’s ability to perceive and think clearly, make meaning out of confusion, and formulate new concepts when faced with novel information. It has been used world-wide for more than 70 years.” The article, Enhanced visual processing contributes to matrix reasoning in autism, by Isabelle Soulières, Michelle Dawson, Fabienne Samson, Elise B. Barbeau, Chérif P. Sahyoun, Gary E. Strangman, Thomas A. Zeffiro, Laurent Mottron, was published online on 15 Jun 2009. You can find a review at Autism News or read the abstract for the study online.

GLBT and on the Autism Spectrum?

A lot of people ask me for info on support groups, social groups or discussion groups. Sometimes I can help them, especially if it’s something fairly common, like locating a parent support group for local parents with kids on the spectrum. But it seems like it gets tougher and tougher to find a group as the potential members get older. There are a lot fewer groups for teens or adults, and if the group is for multiple special issues it can really get difficult. That’s why I was pleased to find that GRASP is starting a new online discussion group for teens and adults within the GLBT community.  

Please check out the GRASP website for info on their latest support group: the GRASP GLBT Network. GRASP defines this group as a “discussion group for adults and teens who are on the autism spectrum and members of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, or questioning community.”

Asperger’s, Autism and Psychotherapy

I’m a therapist, also called a counselor, a psychotherapist, or even a "shrink",  and I work with people who have Asperger’s, autism, or other ASDs. But that doesn’t mean I’m trying to cure someone of their autism. That’s a confusing distinction, but it’s important.

Many individuals on the autism spectrum are struggling with the symptoms from a mental disorder, such as depression, anxiety, or getting caught up in repetitive thoughts. Those are all things that can be treated with psychotherapy, (and sometimes other means), and often “cured” or at least managed so that the symptoms aren’t a problem.

Other individuals on the autism spectrum are trying to deal with issues that go along with their autism, such as difficulties with social signals or managing relationships. Those symptoms can also be managed through psychotherapy.

But the important thing is that in neither of these cases is psychotherapy meant to take the autism away from an individual. It’s not trying, or even wanting, to “cure” autism or Asperger’s.

I think that many autistic people don’t want to be changed. They appreciate and enjoy their cognitive strengths. They derive a great deal of pleasure from their special interests. They relish alone time. And they have no interest in becoming a social, outgoing, maybe even shallow, neurotypical.

The good news is that people can have the best of both worlds. Therapy can manage depression, anxiety, or other symptoms so they’re not a problem. People looking for more satisfying relationships or professional success can learn to adapt in the ways they choose to. And at the same time, all the strengths and special characteristics of ASDs don’t have to be erased.

You can learn more about this topic at my Therapy and Coaching for Asperger's, Autism and ADHD website or in my ezine article on Depression with Asperger’s and Autism.

Coping With Shyness - Guest Blogger Sylvia Meier, MFT

Today's post about dealing with shyness was written by my colleague Sylvia Meier, MFT. Sylvia has a private psychotherapy practice in Dublin, CA, and runs groups for single women who want to develop more social skills, and to start dating. You can learn more at her website.

Although shyness and Asperger's or autism are different, they have many issues and emotions in common. In both cases, it can be stressful or even nerve-racking to step out of your comfort zone and become more social. But, for many individuals, especially those who are feeling lonely, meeting friends, or even a romantic partner, can be their goal. I thought Sylvia's advice might be helpful for these people. 

Coping with Shyness, By Sylvia Meier, MFT

There is great pressure these days to be extroverted and bubbly.  It can be a painful experience to be introverted when you want to meet people to date.  Take a few risks out of your shell and meet new people. 

Being shy has its pluses.  Many shy people I know are excellent listeners, thoughtful and great companions.  Stretch yourself without losing your sense of self.  Create opportunities to meet new people.  Stay sure about who you are and meet a partner who loves your introspection. 

Some symptoms of anxiety in social situations:
-blushing
-heart pounding
-"butterflies" in the stomach
-strong feelings of uncertainty
-difficulty carrying on a conversation

This anxiety is sometimes brought on by:
-lack of confidence
-not feeling "good enough"
-negative thoughts
-fear of the unknown
-lack of practice in social situations
-previous experiences
-unresolved conflict or trauma

Learn to relax.  When you notice that your muscles are tightening, tension is building, loosen up.  Focus on breathing and letting go of tightness. 

Try meditation or yoga.  Think of a special place that is calming for you.  Remember that quiet beach you strolled on when you were on vacation?  Do you have a memory of a secret garden from childhood?  How about that waterfall during a spring hike in the mountains?  Whatever your special place is, go there daily for several minutes.   Anchor this spot in your mind so that you can access it during stressful, social situations.

Acknowledge your anxiety.  The physiological symptoms are real.  Shy people have to work hard to manage the physical stress caused from feeling nervous..  In the beginning, it may seem like you have no control.  With practice, in time, you can learn to manage the physical reactions.

If you've made a conscious effort and you're still struggling, therapy might be worth a try.  A good therapist can help you to work through any unresolved issues that are getting in the way.

Reading Faces

All of us, whether on the autism spectrum or not, could do a better job of reading each other’s emotions. One obvious way is to look at facial expressions. And the expert on facial expression is Dr. Paul Ekman, a psychologist and author who has devoted his career to understanding how humans in many cultures express emotions . Ekman spent 8 years developing a facial expression coding system and studying how we express common emotions like anger, fear, sadness, happiness, surprise and disgust. He’s worked with everyone from police departments to the Dalai Lama, and is one of Time magazine’s 100 most influential people of 2009. The Fox TV show Lie to Me is based on Ekman’s work.

One of the most interesting things about Ekman’s work is that these skills can be learned. In “Emotions Revealed” Ekman uses detailed pictures of his daughter making tiny changes to her face, and explains how this results in vast differences in expression. This is backed up with news photos of people expressing the same emotions. Ekman explains how we can even generate emotions in ourselves just by moving our facial muscles. The back of the book gives a quiz on reading facial expressions, which Ekman suggests taking both before and after reading the book.

You can find more info on Paul Ekman, including extensive interviews with him, on his website.

But Small Talk Is So Boring!

Many individuals find small talk inane and dull. This may be especially true for individuals with Asperger’s or autism. So many of my coaching and therapy clients have told me that they don’t enjoy talking about sports, or the Oscars, or the weather. It’s true, if you hate sports, the Super Bowl seems both trivial and overly hyped. Even if you love movies, the Oscars are just a celebration that the stars throw to honor each other. And the weather? We can all see what the weather is like, talking about it doesn’t change it.

Some people take this to mean that small talk is unimportant, a waste of time, and not something worth participating in. I disagree. It’s true, small talk doesn’t fix any of the world’s big problems. Few important insights are generated. But, small talk does enable people to establish relationships. It’s a simple, low risk way to share something personal about yourself, without opening up too much. It might be something really simple, like the fact that you love the snow. Or something a bit more personal, like that you took your family skiing over the weekend. However much you share, you’ve given people a hook, a means to get to know you just a bit better.

Many autistic individuals complain about feeling lonely and isolated. Obviously, relationships are the key to combating this isolation. But, people don’t go from total strangers to best friends overnight. It’s a gradual process, from strangers, to acquaintances, to friends. That process starts with small talk. And it’s not just a conversation about the weather, it’s an entire nonverbal communication as well. How friendly is the other person? How positive? Is body language open? Is the flow of conversation appropriate? Is this a person I’d like to get to know better?

So, the next time everyone is standing around the coffee maker chatting, try to join in. You don’t have to be witty, or clever, or original, or even fake. Just attempt to be positive, curious, and friendly. You can admit that you’ve never watched American Idol, just try to be open about what the rest of the crowd finds so entertaining about it. You might just find that people are trying to be friendly to you, they just need a chance.

Neurodiversity Online

It seems like the word “Neurodiversity”, and the ideas of respect for autism rights that it represents, comes up more and more frequently online and in print. Yet, at the same time, I find that most of the individuals I meet, frequently parents of children with autism or Asperger’s, as well as adults who think they may be autistic or have Asperger’s, have never heard of the word neurodiversity. In this posting, I wanted to list some links to websites that deal with neurodiversity, so my readers can explore these ideas on their own.

The Oxford American Dictionary that came with my Mac, copyrighted in 2005, does not list the word “neurodiversity”. You’re going to need something more up-to-date. You could start with with WordSpy.com, “The Word Lover’s Guide to New Words.” This site defines neurodiversity as: “The variety of non-debilitating neurological behaviors and abilities exhibited by the human race.” Of more interest is that the site lists sample citations of the word, in the New York Times and Geocities, and the earliest citation of the word, in the Atlantic Monthly in 1998.

For a different, and somewhat more positive, definition, try Everything2.com  which defines neurodiversity as “The concept that variance in neurological structure adds needed diversity to the human race. The celebration of that diversity. Or, a word referring to the variety of ways in which the human brain can be wired.”

You can find a very inclusive listing of neurodiversity resources and websites at neurodiversity.com

For a frequently cited voice of the autism rights movement, go to ASAN. The Autistic Self Advocacy Network, defines itself as:

 “.. a non-profit organization run by and for autistic people. ASAN's supporters include autistic adults and youth, those with other distinct neurological types and neurotypical family members, professionals, educators and friends. ASAN was created to provide support and services to individuals on the autism spectrum while working to change public perception and combat misinformation by educating communities about persons on the autism spectrum. Our activities include public policy advocacy, community engagement to encourage inclusion and respect for neurodiversity, quality of life oriented research and the development of autistic cultural activities and other opportunities for autistic people to engage with others on the spectrum.”

The founding president of ASAN, Ari Ne’eman is featured in the public service announcement, “No Myths”, along with other autistic individuals.

And, just this week, Salon.com published "I am not a puzzle, I am a person", by Elizabeth Svoboda regarding the “autism culture movement”.

The online resources are endless, and I’m sure I missed some very important ones, but this list is a place for people to start exploring. If I have missed your favorite site, please send me a comment.

Reading Smiles and Facial Expressions

One defining symptom of Asperger’s and autism is a difficulty in reading social signals, body language and facial expressions. But, lots of people struggle with this, not just those on the autism spectrum. Although for neurotypicals, reading others tends to be instinctive, everyone, autistic or neurotypical, can learn to pay attention and improve their skills.

There’s a fun self test on the BBC website where you can practice identifying real and fake smiles. The test has videos of 20 people smiling which you can analyze. During the test you can only watch the videos once, but if you want to study them repeatedly, you can review them after you get your results.

More Tips for Calming Down

All individuals, whether they have a diagnosis of autism or Asperger’s or not, are faced with stressful situations. This might be a job interview, an athletic competition, a performance review with a boss, or all the testing that students have to go through. Some people just seem to sail through these experiences, others get completely caught up in the stress. A big part of how well you manage is related to how well you can soothe yourself, and that’s all about self talk.

The idea of self talk was parodied by Al Franken as Saturday Night Live character Stuart Smalley, where he repeatedly affirmed “I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!” But it’s more than just a joke. Positive self talk has its roots in well researched psychology techniques such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). And, self talk can be effective for not just serious mental disorders like depression and anxiety, but for the more commonplace stresses we all face.

So exactly what is self talk? It’s those little comments running through your head when faced with a tough situation. Pay attention next time to what you’re telling yourself. Faced with a challenging math problem, is it something helpful like, “I can do this, I’ve done lots of practice problems.” or , “OMG, I’m awful at math. I’m always so stupid!”  When you encounter your critical boss, do you think, “Oh no, he hates me! He’ll be complaining about my report.” or can you shift to a more helpful, “”I did a great job on that report. He’ll be pleased with it even if he doesn’t comment.”

Learning to notice and even change your own self talk can be the first step towards success.

Asperger’s, Autism, and Adult Women

For a long time, the autism media focus has been about young boys with Asperger’s and autism. But lately I’m noticing more of a focus on women with autism and Asperger’s. I’ve talked about women on the autism spectrum briefly, especially how tough it is to find information about how women and girls are impacted. Although the media stories or TV interviews may be poorly done, and the information can be misleading, I think this increasing media attention is a good thing because it can help bring down some of the stereotypes and raise awareness that autism and Asperger’s are not strictly about young males.

Glamour magazine, March 2009, ran a story “They’re Autistic - And They’re In Love” where they depicted Dave Hamrick and Lindsey Nebeker, who both have autism diagnoses. The story tends to play into the stereotypes, and doesn’t address much about the strengths that can come along with the diagnosis. But, it does tell about a positive relationship that seems to work for the couple. It also shows how adults can bypass all the limitations that medical professionals may predict about children. The article states that Hamrick’s parents were told he would never be able to work or live alone. Now he’s a college graduate who majored and works in meteorology.

America’s Next Top Model ran this season with a contestant, Heather Kuzmich, who says she was diagnosed with Asperger’s at age 15. I don’t watch this show, so I don’t have much to say about it. You can find a truly dreadful You Tube interview with Kuzmich. She’s does a good job on the interview, but the interviewer seems so uninformed and uncomfortable about the topic of Asperger’s, it’s a bit difficult to watch.

Finally, everybody has probably heard about Mary McDonnell on Grey's Anatomy as Dr. Virginia Dixon, a cardiac surgeon with Asperger's. I’ve only seen one episode of this character, but I got some idea of how the character was depicted.  It’s a shame that the portrayal is so broad and the character doesn’t seem to be coping as well as one would expect of a person who made it through medical school. Still, it does present the idea that Asperger’s and autism are a part of a spectrum and some individuals with Asperger’s are extremely successful professionally.

The media has a long way to go in showing all the aspects of the autism spectrum. These depictions of women are certainly flawed, but they do raise the visibility of women with the condition. They also start to present a more balanced picture, that autism is not a condition that affects only male children, and that some individuals with autism or Asperger’s can be very successful. I look forward to the day that the interviewers ask these successful individuals about how Asperger’s or autism contributed to their success.